"These days"

So we are all beginning to talk like Koreans. And like teachers. Second language teachers. But not just in class. All the time. Basically in the past 6 months of living here my, and our (fulbrighters), speech patterns have become somewhat hilarious. For example, I now often start sentences with "For example" because that's what I do in class all the time. HA. I also have been picking up speech patterns of Koreans who are extremely skilled at English. For example, Koreans learn way back in their English classes the phrase "These days" as an introductory clause for just about any sentence having to do with anything and everything you've been up to lately. So, "these days", I am starting a lot of my sentences with "these days." There is also the thing that sometimes we think if we just talk louder that people will understand us. And the whole thing of starting sentences with 'maybe'..."Maybe, let's go to lunch." "Do you like this shirt? Maybe."

So, anyway, THESE DAYS korea has been a little blah. Hence the lack of blogging. I hate being negative (is that an oxymoron?), so I prefer to not say anything at all than to say something negative (usually), but I was reminded by my dear mother that people actually do read this blog and that I should probably update it.

So about the things that have been a bit blah lately:

Korean is so hard. Learning Korean when I am working fulltime seems somewhat impossible, especially because my host family has barred me from speaking Korean in the house. I understand that they wanted me to live here with them to help their children with English, I really do, but this has not really motivated me by any means to study more.

So these days, the language barrier seems deeper and wider and darker and scarier to traverse. Sometimes I can go to lunch and not understand or say a word. I eat my rice and soup and other things quietly and walk back without uttering a word as teachers around me chit chat about things in which I am sure I would be interested if I could get it together and learn Korean.

These days, the homogeneity of Korea has really been getting to me. My students' ignorance and naiveté and absolute lack of knowledge about the 'other' (sans the 'other' who they do know--ME--all blond hairs and pink cheeks and blue eyes of ME) brings a pain to my heart I have never felt before. Their fear of the other and their downright racist views of the world are not malicious or cruel to their knowledge, they honestly just do not know people who look different than they do. They honestly have probably only seen minorities in movies and on TV. Korea is 98% Korean.

These days, I just want to go home and eat some field greens with balsamic dressing and a thin cheddar cheese omelet like I used to make in the Kenyon cafeteria all the time. These days, I want to hear English (or Spanish even) around me when I walk down the street. These days, I wish I had more places to put my things than in the room.

These days, I feel so very very far away from home. The time difference and the actual distance are just so daunting at times. Like when I have an inclining to talk with someone, like a pang of certain friend-ness, and then I realize that they are probably in their third sleep cycle or in a business meeting.

So, nonetheless, I have been really looking forward to my forthcoming vacation. I am heading home exactly a week from today. I will be home for 2 weeks, then back in Seogwipo for 2 weeks teaching a camp, then in Bali for a week, then in Thailand for a few weeks, then in Seoul for a few weeks. Being a teacher is the best! In Korea, the year-break is reversed, so the new school year will be starting when I start teaching again on March 1. I think I could really get used to this schedule.

I can't wait to see you/talk with you all. Lots of love. Kate